I Heart Vacation

Vacation and I get along very well.  I love being completely in control of what I do and when I do it. I’m spending entirely too much time in my pajamas and bathrobe.  It’s a good thing that I don’t smoke cigarettes and drink beer – or it could get really ugly around here.  I’ve set a goal for myself for today:  Take a shower, get dressed and leave the house.  No pressure, though.  If it happens, it happens.

My 3rd graders wore me out.  They’ve been full of beans (as my mother would say) – so stir crazy from being cooped up inside so much.  There were only a few days over the course of the last several weeks that we were able to go outside for recess.  During the rest of the days, we could be found inside the classroom with the door shut with me constantly calling out things like, “Keep your hands to yourself!”, “Slow yourself down there, buddy!”, and “We’re not doing wrestling moves in here, guys.”  The kids were wild.

I was constantly keeping a close watch on my wild boys, who’ve recently become obsessed with Google Images.  Yikes.  Now that’s an invitation to teacherly disaster.  While my kids are innocently looking for photos of  cute puppies, Nascar drivers, or professional wrestlers, they could see some NFK stuff.  (Another Mom-ism: Not For Kids).  I recently talked with a fellow teacher who had a bad Google Images experience in her classroom.  The kids were searching for people’s names following by .com to see what would come up (like Knelley.com).  They googled several of the kids’ names, but didn’t come up with anything.  Then they typed in their teacher’s first name, followed by .com.  The first image that came up was a photo of a bare chest.  Breast.  Boobs.  Alarming?  Of course.  We don’t want our students to be looking at naked women in the classroom.  But the horrifying part – some of the kids actually believed they were looking at their teacher’s boobs!  Holy crap.  It took many chats with the principal and with parents to clean up that mess.  We don’t do the Google Images thing in my classroom anymore.

Even the usually-calm-and quiet kids were starting to do wacky things and they were getting on each other’s nerves.  There were lots of tears and complaints about friends – “She’s copying everything I do!  I made a Bubbles book (?!).  She made a Bubbles book.  I drew a picture of a horse.  She drew a picture of a horse.  She copies everything I do and I’m just not comfortable with it.”  The reply: “We were doing things together because I thought we were friends!  I’m not copying you – I’m doing it with you.”  Ugh.  Me?  “I’m so surprised that you’re getting so upset.  You’ve been such good friends ever since you got the same eyeglasses.  Go try to work it out.”  Ugh.  We were fine when we were actually working and learning, but the social time was a mess.

Come to think of it, some of the working and learning times were a mess, too.  The one that comes to mind  . . .

Remember that Adventures with Emmie the Cat thing that I started a while back?  One of my boys was reading his Adventures with Emmie story aloud to the class while they were all gathered on the rug for our daily read aloud. (Just so you know, we’ve been reading a book called Snot Stew.  That’s how ugly it’s getting in my classroom.)  This boy wrote about taking Emmie to a birthday party and while he wasn’t looking, she ate his piece of cake.  He also told us that he woke up in the middle of the night and found Emmie playing video games.  It was really cute.  After he was done with his story, I jumped in, acting like I was really disgusted.  I said, “I don’t know if I should allow anyone else to take Emmie home.  I think you’re all corrupting her.  Do you know what corrupting means? (They did.)  She never behaved like this before.  She never would have eaten someone’s cake without permission or snuck around in the middle of the night to play video games.  I’m shocked.  I can only imagine what you’ll teach her next.”  The kids all laughed until one of my scarier boys piped in with, “We’ll have to teach her how to get rid of a body and how to clean up the blood.”

What?  What?  We had a private little chat about that comment, during which the boy rolled his eyes and continued his daily routine of acting like I’m the queen of the idiots.

So . . . can you see why I’m happy I’m on vacation?  These kids wear me out.  I love them all (well . . . the eye-roller is kind of hard to love), but we all do much better when we have a break from each other.

I’m happy to be knitting, reading, watching my DVR’d shows, and sleeping.  Oh – and thank goodness for my DVR’d shows.  Daytime television is so sad.  While reading this morning, a commercial for a soap opera came on and even though I didn’t pick up my head to look, I heard this:  “I was ready to give you the daughter you always wanted, but now I find out my sister already did.”  Gag.

Next time, I’ll show you some knitting.  Have to go make some of that happen now.

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4 Responses to “I Heart Vacation”

  1. Mom Says:

    Don’t make nasty remarks about mt favorite soap opera. I watch” All My Children” every day. Even daddy watches some time. When is my Emmie turn ???
    XXXOOO, Mom

  2. rmsheffler Says:

    Can I bring Emmie home? Maybe Chesney will enjoy having a temporary playmate. I promise I won’t let her play video games with DH!

  3. accountantgrrl Says:

    I’m totally with you on daytime TV, Knelley. Why do you think I end up watching five hours of “Unsolved Mysteries” on Spike TV?

    That “snowflake” sounds extremely creepy. I hope to God he was kidding….he was kidding, right?!

  4. Kathy Says:

    HEY! I watch that show too! One commercial tells you nothing! I want Emmie too! Your family can show her a responsible time. Well…maybe.

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