You Knew This Was Coming!

You knew that I’d soon show you photos of my 3rd grade knitters’ projects.

WARNING: The images you’re about to see may cause serious knitters to experience nausea, headaches, ringing of the ears, and tingling of the spine. Please stay seated while viewing these images. These images may cause non-knitters to spit liquids out of their noses, so please refrain from drinking while viewing these images.

Proceed at your own risk.


I warned you. Can’t say I didn’t. The above piece was made by an enthusiastic 9-year-old knitter. I had cast on 10 stitches for her and she somehow ended up with . . . um . . . a lot more than that. When asked how she added on the additional stitches, she replied, “I have no idea. It just happened.”

Take a closer look.

Lacework! I’m such a good teacher!

Below is a funky new stitch.

Anyone recognize it? Does it have a name?

Now take a look at the skein of yarn.

Notice anything?

That’s what happens when you knit outside during recess.

Here’s another knitting sample. From a distance, it’s not so bad.

Let’s take a closer look. Shall we?

That’s what happens when an 8-year-old knitter knits with dirty hands.

Are you okay? Still with me? Should I change the subject?

Before I do, in my own defense, I need to tell you that the OFFICIAL knitting club has not yet started. I’ve given some of the future knitters a quick lesson and they’ve been working on their own. They are no way considered to be under my direction supervision when it comes to their knitting. I take NO responsibility for the appearance of these knitted . . . um . . . objects. None. Not me. Uh uh.

Next subject. Now realize I’m really putting myself out there. I’ve shown you evidence of what a wonderful knitting teacher I am and now I’m about to show you what a great teacher teacher I am. Be nice to me.

As teachers, WE often give our kids fun worksheets to do. They allow the students to do some coloring and have fun as we reinforce skills. Sometimes, WE, as teachers, quickly select the worksheets without . . . um . . . reading and reviewing them carefully. Sometimes. This, I’m afraid, was one of those times.

I present to you . . . the Quilting Bee, published in 1999 by Tribune Education in a Grade 3 workbook. The skill: identifying the number of syllables in a variety of 1- to 4-syllable words. Looks good – right?

Take a closer look:

Can I just ask . . . WHY? Why on Earth would a 3rd grader need this particular word. Are there no other 2-syllable words that were available? Pleasured. Not pleasure, which is also a 2-syllable word. Pleasured.

Go ahead. Use pleasured in a sentence. Really. Go ahead.

Sorry, Mom. I know I told you I wouldn’t blog about this, but I couldn’t help it. Had to. It wasn’t a pleasure, though.

7 Responses to “You Knew This Was Coming!”

  1. Kathy Says:

    I haven’t read your blog in a while – but wow, did I laugh out loud – what a freaking riot!! I love that you are going to teach the kids – that is SO you! The little sock is adorable! Can’t wait to see what you get back! Love ya!

  2. jennsquared Says:

    Look at those lace work! Don’t worry, they will get to where we are! 🙂

  3. acambras Says:


  4. Anonymous Says:

    Shame on whoever wrote that work book !!!!!

  5. WifeMomKnitter Says:

    Holy Crap…what was that written in the 70’s? Boom Chicka Wow Wow!

  6. mad knitter Says:

    Hey, someone at Tribune Education had a warped sense of humor, huh??? I love the kids’ knitting…you should be so proud of all that you’ve given them, and the club hasn’t even started yet!

  7. Sheila Says:

    If a third grader uses the word pleasured, someone is going to be arrested. Other than that, those kids can knit – sort of. How cute though. And they won’t forget it either. You really have taught them to knit.

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